Let's see, left school after Beloved tutorial today because stomach was too pain. Slept for more than 4 hours. Woke up, pain still there. Cannot eat anything without pain ripping through my stomach. I wonder what I ate yesterday. School sucks. I wonder if I'm doomed to failure everytime I'm faced with lit.

Anyway, the day's almost over and done with. But still have to go through at least 2 chapters of Econs. I calculated it already, because there will be days booked in my schedule that doesn't allow me any time to study AT all, we're talking about more than a week, so I have no choice but to start a week earlier than expected. Ey, wonder if I'm doing the right thing with my studying methods. First time I ever took a major exam without the help of a tuition teacher.

Sometimes I really wonder if my brain knows what it's doing. It's an almost conscious need to punish myself by shoving the reality of the unattainable in front of my face. And part of me feels like begging for more. Utter rubbish. How insecure this makes me feel. Almost... lost